Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs

I love this article. Odds are, you will too...

This is the perspective of a feminist, atheist woman who has a strange addiction with reading married, LDS women's blogs. Turns out, happiness is contagious and REAL. I'm grateful that I too am a happy, optimistic, LDS woman (young woman?). Take a peak.

Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs

Testing day. Please be serious.

So, I gave a test last Wednesday. The neighboring Language Arts teacher was teaching climax by playing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" to teach climax or something. In two of my classes, I found myself trying not to hum along, however, some of my students couldn't help it. It was rather cute.

Well, Friday, at the lunch table, my LA neighbor said SHE would be giving a test. Then, it hit. Payback. Teachers in school wear these microphones around our necks. I thought they were ridiculous at first, but holy cow, it saves me. I don't have to raise my voice, they can hear my emotion (whether joyful or annoyance). The only problem is that I can hear everything my neighbor says and vice versa.

Back to Friday. After marking 124 kids tardy, I covered my mic and whispered to the class that I had a brilliant idea (I'm pretty much an actor--trying to entertain them, right?). I whispered to them that the class would be taking a test and reminded them what happened when we were taking a test. I told them we should play the song back and sing at the top of our lungs. Well, after three groups of kids gave their Asia PowerPoint presentations, I found the lyrics on YouTube and we sang at the top of our lungs. Promptly thereafter, my phone rang. It was my neighbor. I put it on speaker. "Hey, what'd you do with all that money we gave your class for singing lessons?" she said. We laughed and hung up.

Twenty minutes later, right before the bell rings, I hear T. Swift wafting through the poor ventilation of our walls and all these 8th grade voices. Not to be out performed, we put on another Taylor song and belted out the words at the top of our lungs (don't worry, I gave them my mic to help).

It was a very educational day. (haha don't worry, we only wasted a collective 5 minutes...but wow, can that build class morale. It was hilarious and I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it more than they did).

Let me know if you have ideas because I'm pretty sure this will turn into a battle.

An Insight into My Heart

Things I fear:

My grandma's basement. Missed opportunities. Being forgotten. The fact that I always want what I can't have. Pride. North Korea (I watched a documentary...). Closeness. Shellfish. Being alone. Being late. Getting older. My skin loosing elasticity, someday. Love. Hurting others. Leading on guys I go out with. Allowing people to be lonely because I didn't spend time with them. The turmoil in the Middle East. Ignorance. The state of America's uneducated. Myself.

Deep down I'm just a scared girl. I guess we all are sometimes.

Books...

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. ~P.J. O'Rourke The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. ~Mark Twain I just got back from book club and feel inspired. Can you tell. I've read these books and need some new suggestions. Leave me some comments with your favorites. Summer is near! To Destroy You is No Loss

The Alchimest

Flags of Our Fathers

Brave New World

Poisonwood Bible

Huckleberry Finn

Heart of Darkness

Warriors Don't Cry

Long Walk to Freedom

The Boy in Striped Pajamas

The Help

Mr. Pip

Tale of Two Cites

Shanghi Girls

Outsiders

Hunger Games

Billy Budd

Beruit to Jerusalem

Lincoln in Pictures

John Adams

Jane Eyre

Scarlett Letter

The Power of One

Wuthering Heights

Frankenstein

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Ms. Dalloway

The Hours

Left to Tell

Gurnesy Literary Society

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

Catcher in the Rye

Lord of the Flies

Harry Potters

Animal Farm

To Kill a Mockingbird

The Book of Mormon

The New Testament

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

The Declaration of Indepedence: A Written History

Things Fall Apart

A Prayer for Owen Meany

The Tipping Point

Freakanomics

As I Lay Dying

Lemon Tart

Spare Change

The Professor and the Madman

King Lear

Julius Caesar

Jacob Have I loved

The Screwtape Letters

The Outsiders

Distant Waters

To Draw Closer to God

Peak

The Carousel

Chains

Coming of Age in Mississippi

Amusing Ourselves to Death

The Awakening

The Giver

Anne Frank 1984 Room Twilight The Infinate Atonement Speak Winter Girls

7th Period

First of all, I realize this won't be interesting to anyone. I just want to document the hilarity of my 7th period, because, seriously, how does this happen?

Bell rings.

Students to their starting activity on the board.

Then, I ATTEMPT to discuss a few current events.

Unrest in Tunisia, Egypt, Lybia, Iran, etc.

"Miss Anderson, will you come to our baseball game." "Yes, just tell me when it's closer"

More discussion of middle east, Muslim brotherhood, democracy.

My typical spill on my shock about how pirates still exist. I explained somolia, yacth, 4 Americans killed, upcoming trial.

"Will we go to war?" "How many people would have to die to go to war?" "Will we start a world war with Somolia" "The words "World War" imply that the whole world needs to be involved not just us and them" (suddenly it clicks in their head. Mind you, this is all them talking).

"Can we just talk about current events the entire period?" "Yeah! We never have a free day!" "This will be so good for us!" "Can we talk about drug cartels in Juarez again?" "Yeah, Miss Anderson, we need to know about them!!" "can't we just have a discussion all period." (In my head, "What do you think I'm trying to do?") Outloud, "Only if I start getting some really good questions. If not we'll take notes."

I ask them a question about N Korea. "Do they have nukes?" "Would China beat us?" "If a nuke goes off won't the entire face of the earth be slaughtered?" (lot's of speculation) (Finally, I respond, answer questions and ask a question about New Zealand).

"Did you guys hear about the earthquake," I ask. "Oh yeah! Didn't 4000 people die?" "We just learned where that is!" "What earthquake?" "Aren't we supposed to have an earthquake?" "When will it come?" "Can we practice an earthquake drill?" (student we will call Huck gets under his desk promptly) Huck "I'm scared! Can't we have a drill? Wouldn't it be so cool if it came!" Other students, "Is our school earthquake proof."

"Do we have to do anything today?" "Can we just keep talking and learning things like we are right now?"

I tell them we are going to take notes but "I promise, I won't make you do anything for the WHOLE rest of the period if we have a 6.0 earthquake." "Sigh... MISS ANDERSON! This is important. We need to know this in real life."

Discussion on federal laws, how tectonic plates move (for someone who missed all the science classes in her whole life apparently). Randomly, Huck jumps up from his desk, folds his arms, "Dear Heavenly Father, Please let us have an earthquake and let us be safe if we do. It'd be really cool and we'd learn a lot. In the name of...Amen." (I'm not kidding). The class got silent, because, let's be honest, we were all a bit in shock. Well, thanks Huck for asking that we'd be safe.

More discussion on natural disasters. Tectonic plates. Huck has a question. He asks if he can ask it. "Sure, why not," I respond. He comes to the board. Draws America (a perfect circle). He draws where the highest points are. He thinks they are around the coasts. "Huck, we JUST discussed that the lowest points are typically near the coasts."

We discuss Katrina, flooding, lot's of floods, lots of earthquakes. Huck continues his drawing. Huck says, "So if it rains, the whole continent would have to fill up before it floods?" We discuss rivers, elevation, and more floods.

Oh man, FINALLY, we get back on track to taking notes about monsoons in south Asia. Huck inquires, "Miss Anderson, do pipes have filters?" We discuss the difference in incoming clean water and outgoing dirty water. "So, would fish live if they get dropped in the toilet and flushed?" He divulges that his mom accidentally flushed his fish last night. He was so sad.

More notes. Huck says, "Miss Anderson, how does water not fall off the earth when the world is upside down." Class together, laughing/exasperated/shocked, "GRAVITY!!!"

Oh my gosh. Oh my. Oh.

I will add more as the memories come. Can you imagine if I was observed that period? (Actually, I'd probably get a ton of high points on asking good questions and student interaction). My brain hurts.

Education Today

I'm grading tests. Please be amused with me:

Q: Where do most people in New Zealand live?

A: Australia

A: IDK, underwater?

A: Hawaii

BONUS Q: Hosni Mubarak is the president of what country that is currently experiencing civilian unrest against the government?

A: Australia

A: Egipt

A: Eygept

Q: From what continent did the Aborigines arrive?

A: Grate Briten

B: Africa

Q: Name a language spoken in New Zealand? (ps--we just watched a movie that took place there, and I'm pretty sure it was in their language--English)

A: Spanish

Q: The Maori are the native people of _______.

A: aliens

A: immigrants

BONUS Q: What team does the future college basketball MVP, Jimmer Ferdette, belong to?

A: Houstan Rockets

Essay quotes:

"I think that is not fair to take their land because is their land. They should do something better then tooked it from them. A good idea will be talkin to them, and get to. Something better for both of them."

"They were pretty muched tooken off there own land."

Join the cause! Become an educator!

I need Advil...

Christmas 2010

This Christmas was very different than all the rest. My brother, Sheldon, is serving an LDS mission in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Since he is my only sibling, Christmas was very different! My parents and I went on lots of adventures. We went to Hollywood (with hopes of seeing West Side Story--but it was a bit pricy for our taste), the Long Beach Playhouse, watched TONS of movies, ate at many restaurants, and just enjoyed each others company. Since they just moved to LB and live in an apartment, I got the privilege of sleeping on the couch. Next time, I will take one of those eye cover things. Not the most comfortable place, but spending time with my parents was well worth the sacrifice.

We were really excited for Sheldon to call. Missionaries are only able to call on Mother's Day and Christmas, though they do email weekly. It was stressful waiting for his call. You see, he called from a member's home and told us to call him back. Turns out, we aren't too savvy on calling other countries, so we didn't really know what to do/the number he gave us was slightly wrong (minor detail). All in all, when we finally talked to him, it was wonderful to hear his voice. Turns out, I really love him. I'm so proud of the decisions he is making and I know we are being blessed for his sacrifice. I also know the Lord is taking care of him and blessing him for his desire to put his life on hold to serve Him.

Well, enough about Sheldon. This is what he missed:

The little apartment front room. Also, functioned as my bedroom for the week.

My parents decided to spoil me while Sheldon was gone. This is a computer. My parents are hilarious. My mom thought it would be funny if she decorated a Cheerios box so she went online and printed off pictures of a Macbook Pro and glued them on the box. Not to worry, she left Cheerios in there (half-eaten, mind you).

I also got a Kitchen Aid mixer attachment for ice cream making. It was my grandma's wish to buy us all Kitchen Aid's for our wedding gift. Well, I didn't get married while she was alive. My mom decided to continue the tradition, however, she couldn't wait. She lost hope in my marriageability and now I enjoy a beautiful Kitchen Aide mixer. :) Can't wait to use this little gadget.

The real deal. (PS--I bought a portion of this, before you all think I'm ridiculously spoiled. Which I probably am.)

My parents speaking to the golden child.
I cried. They were so generous.